Book Review - The Pythons Autobiography by the Pythons

Reviewed by The Pepperpots
Anne Elephant: So, we read do we? Like “read books”, do we?
Anne Elk: Well, y-yes. We are of the old school.
Anne Elephant: Speak for yourself! Old! You’re only as young as you feel.
Anne Elk: Please, Anne. Let’s get to the review.
Anne Elephant: Oh, alright - it’s always something, isn’t it? If it ain’t something else! ((as an aside to the audience) I heard that one on the telly last Saturday Night.)
Anne Elk: The name of the book that we are reviewing . . .
Anne Elephant: . . . which we are reviewing . . .
Anne Elk: What?
Anne Elephant: The name of the book WHICH we are reviewing . . .
Anne Elk: What do you mean?
Anne Elephant: Well, if you’re reviewing a book . . . then you should know the name by WHICH it is called! There, I’ve run rings ‘round you linguistically! Go on!
Anne Elk: The name of the book (turns head towards Anne E.) WITCH (turns back) we are reviewing is “The Pythons Autobiography, by The Pythons”.
Anne Elephant: A Car Book, then? Race Cars?
Anne Elk: No, it’s a life story – a biography!
Anne Elephant: I thought you said “auto” as in a car. So … … , is it a German Race Car Book? Like the Ottobahn, or OttoErotica. Or – Otto was I ere I saw Otto?
Anne Elk: NO!
Anne Elephant: - - - - ON!
Anne Elk: WHAT?
Anne Elephant: - - - - - - - TAHW?
Anne Elk: WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?
Anne Elephant: - - - - - - - (puzzling) That’s a hard one!
Anne Elk: A hard what?
Anne Elephant: A hard palindrome - to solve!
Anne Elk: What’s that got to do with the book review?
Anne Elephant: I don’know! You started it! However, it does flow!
Anne Elk: IT FLOWS! HOW DOES IT FLOW?
Anne Elephant: From what you said, to what I said, then you implied it was a German Car Book. Myanmar!
Anne Elk: Why did you say, “Myanmar”?
Anne Elephant: I panicked!
Anne Elk: But, the panic word is “Burm . . .
Anne Elephant: That’s the old panic word. Now it’s called Myanmar, the new panic word. There, now I’ve run rings ’round you geographically!
Anne Elk: NO, the book is an A U T O B I O G R A P H Y!
Anne Elephant: Is that different?
Anne Elk: Yes. They wrote it themselves, about themselves.
Anne Elephant: So, it’s a self help German Car Repair Book, an Audi-biography? Oh no, Anne! - - Did they mention The War?
Anne Elephant: Let’s change the subject. What’s on the back of the book!
Anne Elk: A Bar Code - - Stripes!
Anne Elephant: Looks like it’s tattooed to me! Oooooh, get it off of me! They’re dangerous with big slimy teeth! Tattooed on the back of the jacket? Is it a Zoo book?
Anne Elk: No Anne, look next to the Bar Code!
Anne Elephant: What is that Anne Aardvark?
Anne Elk: No, Anne. That’s you!
Anne Elephant: Myanmar!
Anne Elephant: Me, on the jacket? A Good book, then? Well!
Anne Elk: Shall I play mother?
Anne Elephant: Yes, more tea, please!
Anne Elk: Well, it’s a big book!
Anne Elephant: A very BIG book.
Anne Elk: It’s a Coffee Table Book!
Anne Elephant: A Coffee Table Book? What’s that then? Do they hurt?
Anne Elk It’s a book what’s guaranteed to hold our coffee table down, even if we violate the law of gravity.
Anne Elephant: Who would they call, then? The gravity police?
Anne Elk: Yes, the police have a Special Art Detail (SAD) down there (up there?) in Escher! (A joke about visual arts and perspective, for the rest of you.)
Anne Elephant: Sounds like heavy reading to me!
Anne Elk: The guarantee was five pounds extra.
Anne Elephant: English or American?
Anne Elk: What, the guarantee?
Anne Elephant: No. The bloody pounds! Did it COST five pounds more? Or, does the book WEIGH five pounds more. - - With the guarantee?
Anne Elk: No, the Version!
Anne Elephant: “Like a Virgin”, Madonna, or like The King James’es Version?
Anne Elk: I didn’t ask! What does it say on the frontispiece?
Anne Elephant: On the wha-at?
Anne Elk: The Frontispiece! Right there, see: “$60.00 US $85.00 Canada”
Anne Elephant: So, it cost us 60 Pounds, plus the guarantee for another 5 pounds added, 65? And then 90 in Canada - Pounds or their cheap Dollars?
Anne Elk: No, no, no you filigreed ex-watery tart!
Anne Elephant: Ex-watery tart? How did you know my secret that’s fowl?
OR
Filigreed tart? Who’s gilding the lily?
Stay Tuned!
THE END – PART ONE
(Set up reel for Part Two- The Euro Conversion Skit)