The Rt Hon Prime Minister Gordon Brown - Foot and Mouth Issues Escapade

Here is another zany comical news desk sketch I wrote in December 2007
This is one about The RT Hon Gordon Brown - UK Prime Minister 2007...
And now for the news ....

The Prime Minister Gordon Brown, nicknamed by many as "Mr Bean", "Boring Bovine Brown" and other such appropriate names, saw his leadership thrown into question yet again today, this time he made yet another blunder in his ability to get to grips with the issue of foot and mouth disease in Britain, an issue close to his heart given that his appearance and the manner to which he articulates his words, by way of appearing to 'chew the cud' like a cow.He ordered 15 cows with foot and mouth disease to be chained to the railings in Downing Street so that people could see just how it affects them. Fellow ministers refused to enter Downing Street as a result, except to address the media forming a crowd outside, to say that they felt that Gordon Brown had gone stark raving mad. One even went so far as to say that Gordon Brown seemed to be suffering from 'Mad Cow Disease'!
Gordon Brown watching such comments being broadcast live on UK TV news programmes decided that enough was enough, and fuelled the fires of criticism he came out of the front door of Downing Street and mounting one of the diseased cows, after releasing it from its tether he rode it down Downing Street and towards the Houses of Parliament, shouting, "get a grip of Foot and Mouth, I am".
Police eventually had to apprehend Gordon Brown as he went so far as to ride the cow into the Houses of Parliament itself, scaring all in his wake out of the way and causing criminal damage to pavements and corridors by allowing the cow to muck them, as it saltered along the way carrying Gordon Brown.
Gordon Brown was forced to appear before London Magistrates court later to be held accountable for his bizarre behaviour and criminal damages. Magistrates fined Gordon Brown £90,000 for damages and a further £30,000 for setting a bad example to the country, he was also ordered to have some shock treatment in a London Psychiatric
hospital.
Magistrates told Gordon Brown that he was a poor excuse for a Prime Minister and that he needed to stop being obsessed with cows and thus curb his obsessive compulsion toward Bovines. Gordon Brown was taken away from the court and was admitted to the London Psychiatric Hospital straight from the court.
And now for the weather news....
Tonight there will be freezing snow over the cell in the London Psychiatric Hospital in which Gordon Brown is being detained, but the rest of the country will have a mild warm night.
Tomorrow there will be a tornado over the cell in the London Psychiatric Hospital in which Gordon Brown is being detained, but the rest of the country will have fabulously warm sunshine and the highest of summer temperatures!
That is all for tonight.
Goodnight!
Written By Kaz Stevens
Copyright Kaz Stevens 2008.

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Comments

scottp: You be a writing machine!!... Thanks so much for posting all this GREAT material!!! Looking forward to more here in 2008!!

Have a Happy New Year!!!

What a Life!!!

Kazytc at 7:04 pm December 31

Hey Great Scott,

Thanks for your encouraging comments...and Happy New Year to you too my friend, hope its the best ever! I am so glad you enjoy my material.

I was once described over here in the UK as a 'prolific writer' now I merely try to live up to that tag!

I am building a new web site at: www.all-things-zany.com

My material will be posted on there too, and also some planned video footage of my reading the comical newsdesk as once I did in front of huge crowds of secret anarchists at secret bashes around the Liverpool area of the UK back in the 70's and 80's when I was at the height of my writing career.
I used to write in a writers group and then the TV folks commissioned me to write as a freelance writer of political satire.
I have written loads of this sort of gear and still do, I have lots more in the pipeline, I just adore writing!
I write song lyrics, satire, satirical poetry and all sorts of scripts and sketches many of which I have personally performed live on stage in Liverpool UK.
I started writing comedy as early as 9 years old and I was 50 in 2007, so I have been a writer as far back as I can remember.
I was the lead singer songwriter in 4 Liverpool UK bands, 2 in the 70's and 2 in the 80's and then I got a British Actors Equity card after appearing in UK sops as an actress and also in films like "Chariots of Fire" and "Dreamchild" etc. I first appeared on UK TV at the age of 12 as a singer.
Lets just say that I love to write! I was born in Liverpool with a typical piss taking sense of humour, so I guess humour is natural because of my Scouse background! You sure need a sense of humour to live in Liverpool!
I do what just comes naturally to me thats all!
Watch this space!

Have fun!

Be seeing you!
Zany Hugs again and again!
Kaz

Ron Obvious: Sorry, I cud not stop myself.

These jokes are udderly ridiculous.

Bloody vikings!

Kazytc at 7:05 pm December 31

Hey Ron,

Love the pun and by design they are meant to be udderly ridiculous as are the subjects of my writes!

Thanks for your fun comment.
Happy New Year to you my friend, hope its the best ever, have fun!

Be seeing you!
Zany Hugs again and again!
Kaz