Christmas Soon!

We've had snow, Christmas specials on TV, 'It's A Wonderful Life' in shop windows and we've even been blessed with a catchy, hilarious christmas song from Corey Taylor (lead singer in Stone Sour and Slipknot) - called "XM@$". The last thing I need to see to really prove that it's Christmas, is a whole bunch of xmas jokes, from the crude and rude to naff and groan-worthy. If you've heard a good one, or seen a particularly funny one, stick it on here!

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thewastelandr: Those comics are great!!!

Here Comes Another One: I remember some lame Christmas song parodies from when I was a kid. Such as:

Jingle bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg
Batmobile's lost a wheel and Commissioner broke his leg


We three kings of Orient are
One in a taxi, one in a car
One on a scooter, banging his hooter
Following Ringo Starr.

LemonCurry95 at 12:09 pm December 19

Crikey...I remember singing those all the time in Primary School! Back then it was the single most hilarious thing any of us had heard, now it just makes me grin and remember : ) Thanks for that!

J.Gambolputty at 6:02 am December 18

:DD Great!

Lvndr HppE at 10:17 am December 18

lol. I remember the Jingle Bells parody. That's from The Simpsons first Christmas episode! We sang that song in the second grade.

J.Gambolputty: Found one from some website! I thought it was good, with that parrot and everything... ;)

Christmas Parrot

One day a man walked into a bar and sat down next to a guy with a parrot on his shoulder.

The bartender said, "Cute parrot, does he talk?"

The guy with the parrot says, "He does more than just talk, watch." The guy lit a match and placed it under the parrots left foot. Then the parrot started singing "Jingle Bells", it was a Christmas Parrot.
The guy then placed the match under the right foot and the parrot then started to sing "The 12 days of Christmas."

The bartender said, "That's incredible". He then asked, "What does he say when you place them between his feet?"

The guy said, "You know I never tried that, let's see."

When the match was placed between the feet of the parrot the parrot began to sing a familiar tune... "Chesnuts roasting on an open fire."

LemonCurry95 at 12:16 pm December 19

Hehe : ) Haven't heard that one before : D Awesome x

mrsCutout at 5:03 pm December 17

Haha!Good one!! Hahahaah this reminded me of that MP sketch...Mike dressedas a woman and John as a minister."Does he talk?Does he talk?LOL

the_thina: dont know any christmas-joke I can think of, sorry.
but I can give you a little christmas-songs I go and sing to myself all the time, but I have not heard them played anywhere and probobly wont. :(
x-mas song 1:
x-mas song 2:
x-mas song 3:
and of corse this one, I would be so ashamed if I forgot this...
x-mas song 4:

if I would make a christmas-album it would have 4 songs... this ones. hahaha. and maybe that one... wich name I cant remember... something about santas elfs being pissed off on him. I used to love it in my teens, but cant remember the title now. aaargh

mrsCutout at 5:02 pm December 17

Aaaahh!Great choices!!!!! i had no idea for the first one though!SHame on me!

the_thina at 4:26 am December 18

well, better late than never. :) neil manages to look like a kid in a very good way. and mean old eric spoiling his fun always makes me laugh so hard. :)

LemonCurry95 at 12:16 pm December 19

Same here, giggling like a toddler watching that : D Thanks for sharing!

the_thina at 3:07 pm December 19

haha, no worries mate. if I cant provide any christmas-jokes to make you laugh why not some christmasy songs to do the same? :)
"who said you could play with her?!" and neils pouty underlip. hahahaha!

LemonCurry95 at 9:18 am December 20

Christmas songs are usually twice as funny as Christmas jokes : D Have you heard Corey Taylor's Christmas single yet?

the_thina at 1:04 pm December 20

hmmm. no, I dont think I have. not that Im aware of anyway

J.Gambolputty: Hahahaa, I'm still laughing at that second pic :DD

Sorry, I know only few christmas jokes in finnish, and I think that if you translated them in english they wouldn't be funny anymore.

mrsCutout: Hahaha! Love these!!! Schmidt house!! Ah! Anyway I have to say I LOVE It's a wonderful life! Watch it every christmas! we go xmas movies and stuff all day here!