Im back (temporarily)
ok, know I havent been online for about... 3 weeks or so... but it has been stuff going on that havent been that fun.
as some of you remember I got a new kitten about 6 weeks ago. and my other cat was starting to act diffrently, and loosing weight. first I thought it was just her protesting to the new cat, so I started having alone-time with her, closing the bedroomdoor between them every night and leting her be in the bedroom with me (with her favourite foods and an extra cat-toilet in the bedroom) but not much happened. then she didnt want to eat at all. so I got very worried and took her to the vet, hoping for a simple explination like a furball being stuck in her throat (that have happened to my brothers cat a few years back and after all they loose their winterfurr now in the spring and so on) but they found cancer in her tummy. it had come fast and spread fast, so I got to take her home for 24 hours (the kitten stayed at my brothers girlfriend that day so she would not be stressed/annoyed by him and just have me to herself) and then the next day bring her back so they could put her to sleep.
and that was pretty much the hardest thing I have ever done, even if I know it was the only thing that was left to do as a last sign of my love for her.
so... as you who know me well probobly can figure out I am very very sad riht now. even if the kitten is still here its so hard to learn to live without my beautiful baby-girl. she was my first cat that was mine and not my parents. and she was only 6 years old, was hoping to have her by my side for at least another 10 years. but on the other hand, the ones that had her before me was going to put her down if they didnt find a new home, so I try to think about the fact that I gave her 5 more years to live and I hope they were happy years for her.
but that is why I havent been online, and probobly wont be online that much for a while. but I promise I will come back when I feel better. just a little update for those of you that might have been wondering.