The Minefield of Python Quoting

I am a Monty Python quoter. Their comedy is so diverse as to be applicable in a million situations, and so many things occur to me! But what happens if you just get a scene stuck in your head? Last night all I could think of was: 'Don't shoot - we're not a tiger!' And how does one apply that innocently to a conversation?

Answer: you don't. You apply self-control. Or in my case, you just say: 'Don't shoot - we're not a tiger!'

My brother's worse. He recites 'Find The Fish' randomly, several times a day.

So what I want to know is, what's the Python quote/s that you use most? And which quotes are unquotable?

I find I modify 'How do you know she is a witch?' a lot. Usually if anyone says 'it looks like one!' But I was looking through the various editions of silly newspapers that I've written for my family, and there's a lot more Python in there than I thought: not copying sketches, or direct references, or even particular influence, just slightly modified quotes. They get in the psyche!

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Paute: And I use a lot the "PING!" from MOL

Here Comes Another One: I was watching The Professionals: "Private Madness Public Danger" the other day. Dunno if anyone knows that show but the baddie in that episode is called Nesbit. Naturally the words "There isn't a zodiacal sign called Nesbit!" were not far from my mind, and nor were "Firing Mrs Nesbit!"

Tanya_Birklid19: Okay, so I just watched 'Paranormal Activity' for the first time in my life. I have to say it was good, the very end made me jumpy, but anyway, there's a bit in the film where Micah is taking some EVP, y'know, asking questions and what not, and two of those questions were 'What is your quest?' and 'What is your favorite color?' Just thought I share that with you all.

d_janice92@yahoo.com at 7:43 am July 17

Ahhh, I remember that! It couldn't take the rest of it seriously, lol.

mrsCutout at 4:07 pm July 17

HAhahaha yes!!! True! I remember wathcing that film and laughing at these lines and my friends were staring!

Iris: I always shout 'Burma' when someone asks me a question I don't know the answer to. Which most of the time nobody understands. It worked with a teacher once though, who laughed so much she totally forgot the question.
And I use 'Do you want to come back to my place?' a lot when I'm talking to someone and there is an awkward pause when I don't know what to say anymore. A bit embarrassing (especially since I live in a country where we don't speak English) but well at least I can laugh about it ;)

(I'm new here btw so Hello everybody!)

mrsCutout at 4:08 pm July 17

HAHAHA! I do that tooo!!!! And here english isn't our language lol!!! It's so funny!

J.Gambolputty at 5:00 am July 15

Hahaha, that's brilliant! :D And welcome to Pythonline.

Iris at 1:17 pm July 16

Thank you!

d_janice92@yahoo.com: I like saying, "AN HOOP!" for no reason. If around my dad or boyfriend, this sets off a chorus of people saying things like, "Of course it's got a hole in it, it wouldn't be a hoop otherwise!" etc.
Not a quote, but I always make the face that Michael's woman character in the death scene of MOL makes where she thinks everything she says is the best/smartest thing ever. It kills me. XD

Here Comes Another One at 9:33 pm July 18

Haha, I do the Flying Lessons one a lot too!

Tanya_Birklid19: Well, there's this one time at one of the dining centers on campus and I came up behind a friend of mine with a banana. Later I found myself quoting the entire ANFSCD's version of 'Self-defence against fresh fruit' skit. And all around me were amazed and applauded.

J.Gambolputty: Maybe it's 'bout time to lift this thread up again, eh? ;)

Anyway, I've started to quote some of the pepperpot conversations a lot, like "Good morning Mrs Gorilla... (and so on)" and "Good morning Mrs Thing... (and so on)" Usually I force the person (that I'm quoting to) to do the dialogue with me, so my family's going insane. *evil laughter*

Also Pilate's "Anybody else feel like a little... giggle." and "You will find yourself in gladiator school vewy quickly with wotten behaviour like that." and "Blow your noses and seize him!" are commonly heard coming from my mouth.

mrsCutout at 3:15 pm July 13

Haha these stuck on my head all the time!! Hello Mrs Entity!!!!
Why do they titter so?

gruggywoof: It's always good to have 'Flying Lessons' to fall back on for when people get a little uppity with you: "I say, we are grand aren't we? Oh oh, no more buttered scones for me, mater, I'm off to play the grahnd piahno..."

d_janice92@yahoo.com at 6:19 am July 14

Ahaha, I use this one all the time! So does my boyfriend...and my dad uses it on the both of us a lot...

Here Comes Another One at 9:16 pm November 17

Hehe, so true!!!

mrsCutout at 6:47 am November 18

LOl Indeed! Hahaha! But I don't say it out loud...just whisper it....

Here Comes Another One: New favourites: the intro to the 'Public are Idiots' sequence, and I tend to do Martin Luther (MOL director's cut) when around cutlery... And a Spike one: 'It's laugh at a cretin time!' whenever there are stupid people around (not saying it to their face, obv!)

mrsCutout at 6:49 am November 18

Hahaha I love Martin Luther sketch.I wish it wasn't cut! Haha good one! OMg that Spike line I say it all the time! Not on their face indeed..

J.Gambolputty: Hmm.. I suggest that you never insulte your mom or someone else with: "Shut your festering gob you tit, your face makes me sick you vacuous toffee-nosed malodorous pervert." Yesterday I was angrily muttering this to her and she asked what I was saying. I didn't translate it correctly to her, for heavens sake.. ;)

the_thina at 2:48 pm November 16

haha, good one! XD but is the line "your face makes me sick"? I thought it was "your sort/type makes me sick"
(all my python-dvds exept holy grail and the seret policemans balls-box is packed down at the moment, so cant dig it out and have a look)

katithepythonfan at 12:07 pm November 17

It's also not very good idea to insult someone with: "Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries". They might only know it's an insult and not find it funny...

J.Gambolputty at 12:53 pm November 17

:D Yes..

J.Gambolputty at 6:27 am November 17

Maebye it is. I have to check it...

mrsCutout at 3:07 pm November 17

It's also a good idea not to star quoting Python in english in a country where it's not spoken and laugh by yourself...People think you're having issues...
I mean when in the class the teacher talks about the Inquisition what else can you do?

Here Comes Another One at 5:54 pm November 17

LMAO! I went thru a similar thing recently ... but as the teacher!

Here Comes Another One at 5:52 pm November 17

LMAO!

Here Comes Another One at 6:06 pm November 17

Wtf? My browser was being weird then & submitted the beginning of my post, oops!

mrsCutout at 6:50 am November 18

Hahahaha that's ok! Ooooh cool! As the teacher?Haha I bet you couldn't be serious! I mean my teacher was totaly unaware she thought I was laughing at her!

genji: One of the shows I watched over the weekend (Comedy Connections, I think) mentioned "nerds at work" quoting Python, an accolade I managed today a couple of times. My favourite was when my colleague complained of a headache and stiff neck, and our other colleague suggested that the organisation should employ a masseur. My rather obvious response was, "for a massage and nothing else."

thewastelandr: One of my favorites - "stuff the jam spoon!"

J.Gambolputty: I don't know if songs count, but I sing Sit On My Face a LOT, and I'm so Worried is one of my favourites too.

Here Comes Another One at 3:40 am October 26

I love I'm So Worried. I was literally rolling on the floor laughing the first time I heard it. I get Sit On My Face stuck in my head all the time, and I'm terrified that one day I'll sing it out loud in front of someone who doesn't know it...!

Here Comes Another One at 3:41 am October 26

And yeah, of course songs count! :-)

J.Gambolputty at 5:58 am October 26

Oh good, 'cause I mainly do songs. Every day I mean. Rhubarb Tart Song is so funny, and I love Medical love song (although I had to seek some of the word in dictionary..) and Decomposing Composers is just absolutely brilliant. I'm a classical music fan also so it's a great song.
And I did sing Sit On My Face to my friend and she just looked me mouth widely open. *laughs*

Here Comes Another One at 7:18 am October 26

Decomposing Composers was the first song that made me really love the Contractual Obligation Album. I was always reciting the spoken-word bit at the end, and singing Finland, but the main one that got into my head was and is 'Heeeeere comes annnnnnOTHER ONE!' Hence my username! I'm So Worried is my favourite but I don't tend to sing it for some reason.

I do not know this Rhubarb Tart song of which you speak, I am going iTunes-wards to investigate.

Here Comes Another One at 7:21 am October 26

Two minutes later: OH MY GOD! I nearly had a heart attack, I laughed so much! I'm going to be singing that for days now.

the_thina at 11:55 am October 26

haha, yes that is a great one. poor john, he cant sing to save his life, but he does try, bless him! :)

Lvndr HppE: Depends on the day for me. I just came back from a church retreat, and on the retreat, we were split into groups. We were playing a game where each group would come up with a movie scene and we had to perform that scene. I picked the Knights of Ni scene from the Holy Grail movie. I got to play Michael's part. :-D

A. Lupin: I think Always Look on the Bright Side of Life lyrics and Nudge Nudge pops up the most. For something unquotable ... that's awfully hard to think of. ...

A. Lupin at 7:47 pm October 25

and crunchy frog. whenever someone offers me candy, I ask if it's crunchy because there are baby frog bones. my friend and I have so much fun with that.

Here Comes Another One at 8:04 pm October 25

Oh yeah, I do 'Lark's vomit,' and my favourite, 'and lovingly frosted with glucose.'

the_thina: since I ive in a countrey where we dont speak english you cant just work in the original english quotes, but I have translated quite a few.
for example, sitting at my friends house once, beeing abit drunk, I said (in swedish) "god Im bored! better have a bath I suppose" he just staired at me. haha.

killerrabit444: well i have the terrible habbit of slipping in the biggus dickuss reference haha umm i also love quoting the holy hand grenade and ni, spanish inquisition and spam are great ones also anytime someone says no time to lose

Here Comes Another One at 7:42 pm October 25

Haha! No time to looooose! I love Eric Idle's alarm clock impression! I do that!

killerrabit444 at 12:04 pm October 26

hahaha yeah i always laugh when i hear it cause now i cant think of anything but that also whenever i see aunts i must think of lines from the michael ellis episode it'd be funny if i knew someone with that name

TheBlancmange: Whenever I asy 'Lemon curry?' to my friend, she bursts out laughing so obviously I say it regularly just t watch her reaction and I'm always shouting 'Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition' and whenever I have an idea, I say 'I have a theory about brontosauruses'

thewhoserpython: Me and my friend say Ni! to each other almost daily, it's just a great noise to make. :) Lemon curry is something great to say when I'm confused and 'Find the Fish' is a great way to cheer someone up. I've found different Python quotes do different things. They're probably the ones I use most often but screaming NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION! occasionally really helps relieve stress. :)

mrsCutout: Hahaha I understand you completely!Recently i've been saying a lot "I wish to register a complaint"! And I mean it when I say a lot.Just today I went to our school cantine to buy something and Instead of saying I wish to buy some food I almost said the phrase.Well luckily I didn't cause it's in english so they wouldn't understand me!Anyway!
I use so many quotes everyday that I can't remember now.I'll update soon!