the police-raid

ok, some of you have been asking what happened on wendsday anyway, with the police and so on.
I have allreday told the story in swedish about 20 times, now its your turn.

ok, it all began with me asking the ones that gives me money (under very strict rules I might add) if I could get about 100 dollars extraso I could travel to gotland and my family and friends (some of them I havent met for 2 years) and she answerd me that if I could get a doctors note that it would improve my general mood (since I have both borderline and bipolar peronality-dissorder) I could get the extra money.

this made me pissed off(witch is very rare, I normally break down in tears instead of getting angry when some one treats me like Im less worthy of a full life) and I asked her how the hell I would be able to get that in less than a month, when I have been waiting for a doctors appointment for 3 months now.
I also pointed out to her the very clear statistic that says that there are more suicides during cristmasthan any other time of the year. then I hung up the phone in her ear (also very much not like me)

the next morning (now we are at tuesday) I got a phonecall from a doctor who had heard about this and we sat upa meeting on friday. everything jolly good. the day goes by, and then wendsday comes and in the evening I take my sleeping-pills as usual.and I had just fallen asleep when the door-bell rings.

I walk out in my pyjamas to open the door, when I see someone has opened the letter-box and is looking inside with a flashlight. this makes me think "burguers!" (I was by this time pretty stoned by my sleeping-pills) so I open the door with the safety-chain still on and peeks out. and see 2 blue uniformes. they did not say "éllo éllo éllo, whats allthis then?"
they said that they had a order to take me somewhere but would not say where and why.
I wanted to close the door to get dressed, but they told me that if I closed the door they would break it in.
so I put on my shoes on my bare feet and a jacket (witch they searched beforethey let me put it on) and led me to their police-car.

inside the car, with a door that only could be opened from the outside and 2 very serious cops in the front seat, stoned out of my mind by my sleeping-pills I started imagining the sign "arbeit macht frei" over autwitz and started to cry.

then we were at our destination-point, the hospitals psychiatric-emergency room.
inside there sat some bastard doctor that was gonna decide if I was suicidal or not. he was cheking my arms and legs to see it Ive been cutting myself. and thought I had until I told him I do have a cat.
and kept asking strange and humiliating questions to me sitting there in my PJ:s, stoned and crying of shock and terror.
after about one hour of this the police came back and drove me home again.

so if that fucking cunt dont give me money to travel home after all this Im gonna be very very angry.

so, there. now you guys know.

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Holly: I had a very similar experience when I was in high school, unfortunately I didn't get to go home the same night, but that's also where we found out I was Bipolar. What sucks the most is once people know what you've got it's like you're not allowed to have any emotions anymore, heaven forbid you have a bad day without people asking if you've taken your meds. Now I'm venting...Hang in there.

the_thina at 7:29 pm December 12

yeah I kno. as soon as Im the least bit sad pepole think Im gonna kill myself. but Im not! I know how I would do it, but WOULD is the key-word here. would not will

Lancaster Bomber: It's just amazing that anyone should be treated like this in modern society. Where is the care - when all you wanted was to try to get help to be with your family. If the meeting with the doc was set up why did this happen ? If there's anything we can do let us know.

the_thina at 2:23 pm December 12

aaaw, you are so sweet to me. both you and iris! *hugs*

flopsy_mrs: just that you konw were here to support you ! those basterds should at least have given you the time to let you get dressed and stuff ! i'll do my verry best to make you happy again and to forget all that sheize what has happend and dear don't think of auswich and the sign :( that is all in the past and don't forget make 1 call to me and i'll be in sweeden if that is neccesarry you're a good friend and i woudl do anythin 4 you

mrsCutout: Oh my you should due for that inconvenience!I would be furious!although i must say i am impressed!here nobody cares if someone commits suicide and especially the police ir the bosses!still i must have been so disturbing! stupid bastards!

the_thina at 9:38 am December 12

they dont care here eiter. just that they dont want it in their files that someone took their life while they were holding that persons case

thewastelandr at 12:28 pm December 12

That is so true, my family has had experience with this also. They don't care, just don't want the hassle. I'm glad you're ok but that situation is a cluster f*ck!

the_thina at 9:38 am December 12

care, not case