Python-libs

Does anyone else remember mad libs? I always enjoyed them, in fact my cousin and I used to make up our own. Anyway I found a site that has Python mad libs: http://www.montypython.net/pythonlibs/index.php

It might also be fun to make up our own python madlibs.

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The Ex-Leper: OH! OH! I love Mad Libs!!!!!

arkennedy: Here was the original (I think it's a song?):

Henry Kissinger
How I'm missing yer
You're the Doctor of my dreams
with your crinkly hair
and your glassy stare
and your Machiavellian schemes
I know they say that you are very vain
and short and fat and pushy
but at least you're not insane
Henry Kissinger
How I'm missing yer
and wishing you were here

Henry Kissinger
how I'm missing yer
you're so chubby and so neat
with your funny clothes
and your squishy nose
you're like a German par-a-keet
alright so people say that you don't care
but you've got nicer legs than Hitler
and bigger tits than Cher
Henry Kissinger
How I'm missing yer
and wishing you were here

And here is what I came up with after filling in the blanks on the Python-lib:

Michael Palin
How I'm missing yer
You're the Bicycle repairman of my dreams
with your crinkly the closest eyelash to the nose on the left side
and your glassy stare
and your Machiavellian schemes
I know they say that you are very vain
and informative and fat and happy
but at least you're not insane
Michael Palin
How I'm missing yer
and wishing you were here

Michael Palin
how I'm missing yer
you're so orange and so neat
with your funny moniter
and your confusing nose
you're like a Scottish par-a-keet
alright so people say that you don't care
but you've got nicer knuckle than Hitler
and bigger tits than Carol Cleveland
Michael Palin
How I'm missing yer
and wishing you were here

thewastelandr at 8:46 pm April 01

I love that song! Michael would love it too!

arkennedy: We're Table cloth inspectors of the round table, we slip whene're we're able.
We do routines, and chorus scenes with footwork imp-e-cable;
We dine well here in Paris, we eat ice cream and jam and spam alot.

We're Table cloth inspectors of the round table, our cookies are for-mid-able
But many times, we're given oranges, that are quite iffy
We're opera mad in Paris, we sing from the diaphragm a-lot!

In sleep we're silly and able,
Quite in-de-fa-ti-gable,
Between our quests, we sequin shirts and impersonate John Cleese,
It's a busy life in Paris:

(Bass-Solo): I have to push the table-a-lot!

silly Ministress: 'And it came to pass that Saint Guy Incognito was taken from this place
to another place. Where he was lain to rest himself amongst female dwarfs
of muslin and velvet.
And there stroked was he by unemployed Philosophers of Woodstock.
For sixteen days and nights stroked they him, yea verily and
caressed him.
His hair, ruffled they. And their fingers rubbethed they in oil
of Pineapple-sperm, and ranneth them across all parts of his body for as much
as to soothe him.
And the soles of his feet licked they. And the upper parts of
his thigh did they anoint with the balm of forbidden Watermelons.
And with the teeth of their mouths, nibbled they the pointed
bits at the top of his little toe. Yea verily, and did their tongues
thereof make themselves acquainted with his most secret Under-nail-dirt.
For fifteen days and nights did Guy Incognito withstand these unemployed Philosophers,
until he cried out, saying:
'This...is out of order! Oh...this is *odd!!*'
And the Lord did hear the cry of Guy Incognito. And verily came He down
and slew the unemployed Philosophers. And caused their cottonwool bugs to blow away,
and their Kleenex to be laid waste utterly.
And Guy Incognito, in his anguish, cried out that the Lord was a horrible
bastard.
So the Lord sent Aristottle to comfort Guy Incognito for the weekend.
And entered they together the jaccuzzi.'

Here endeth the lesson.

the_thina: 'And it came to pass that Saint mr t was taken from this place
to another place. Where he was lain to rest himself amongst the books
of muslin and velvet.
And there stroked was he by mail-mans of mount rushmore.
For sixteen days and nights stroked they him, yea verily and
caressed him.
His hair, ruffled they. And their fingers rubbethed they in oil
of ham, and ranneth them across all parts of his body for as much
as to soothe him.
And the soles of his feet licked they. And the upper parts of
his thigh did they anoint with the balm of forbidden the keys.
And with the teeth of their mouths, nibbled they the pointed
bits at the top of his chin. Yea verily, and did their tongues
thereof make themselves acquainted with his most secret nose.
For fifteen days and nights did mr t withstand these mail-mans,
until he cried out, saying:
'This...is small! Oh...this is *big!!*'
And the Lord did hear the cry of mr t. And verily came He down
and slew the mail-mans. And caused their cottonwool bugs to blow away,
and their Kleenex to be laid waste utterly.
And mr t, in his anguish, cried out that the Lord was a red
bastard.
So the Lord sent pamela anderson to comfort mr t for the weekend.
And entered they together the jaccuzzi.'

Here endeth the lesson.

Holly: 'And it came to pass that Saint Mike Rowe was taken from this place
to another place. Where he was lain to rest himself amongst ear lobes
of muslin and velvet.
And there stroked was he by cake decorators of Dallas, TX.
For sixteen days and nights stroked they him, yea verily and
caressed him.
His hair, ruffled they. And their fingers rubbethed they in oil
of fried pickles, and ranneth them across all parts of his body for as much
as to soothe him.
And the soles of his feet licked they. And the upper parts of
his thigh did they anoint with the balm of forbidden pebbles.
And with the teeth of their mouths, nibbled they the pointed
bits at the top of his Who Ha. Yea verily, and did their tongues
thereof make themselves acquainted with his most secret junk.
For fifteen days and nights did Mike Rowe withstand these cake decorators,
until he cried out, saying:
'This...is elegant! Oh...this is *billowy !!*'
And the Lord did hear the cry of Mike Rowe. And verily came He down
and slew the cake decorators. And caused their cottonwool bugs to blow away,
and their Kleenex to be laid waste utterly.
And Mike Rowe, in his anguish, cried out that the Lord was a awesome
bastard.
So the Lord sent John Cusak to comfort Mike Rowe for the weekend.
And entered they together the jaccuzzi.'

Here endeth the lesson.

arkennedy: It's Brianmas in Hollywood
All the Loonies scream.
It's Brianmas in Hollywood
Hark. Hark. Those church bells ring.

It's Brianmas in Hollywood
The 16 ton weights falls from the sky,
But it's red and nice, and everyone
Looks smart and wears a shoe

It's Brianmas in Hollywood
There's great films on TV:
'Life of Brian' twice an hour
And 'Jaws' One, Two, and Three.

There's gifts for all the family.
There's feet and trains.

There's cyclists
And the latest video games.

It's Brianmas! It's Brianmas in Hollywood
Hip hip hip hip hip hooray!
Every single day
Is Brianmas day!

It's Brianmas! It's Brianmas in Hollywood
Hip hip hip hip hip hooray!
Every single day
Is Brianmas day!

bundtcake: ISE MAN #1: Ahem.

MANDY COHEN: Ohhh! [whump] Who are you?

WISE MAN #1: We are three wise men.

MANDY: What?!

WISE MAN #1: We are three wise men.

MANDY: Well, what are you doing creeping around a cow shed at two o'clock in the morning? That doesn't sound very wise to me.

WISE MAN #3: We are chemist.

WISE MAN #1: We have come from Wallamaloo.

MANDY: Is this some kind of joke?

WISE MAN #2: We wish to praise the infant.

WISE MAN #1: We must pay homage to him.

MANDY: Homage? You're all looney. It's disgusting. Out! The lot, out!

WISE MAN #1: No--

MANDY: Bursting in here with tales about oriental fortune tellers. Come on. Out!

WISE MAN #2: No, no. We must see him.

MANDY: Go and praise someone else's brat! Go on!

WISE MAN #2: We--

WISE MAN #1: We were led by a coconut.

MANDY: Or led by a bottle, more like. Go on. Out!

WISE MAN #1: Well-- well, we must see him. We have brought presents.

MANDY: Out!

WISE MAN #2: swallows. flowers. Myrrh.

MANDY: Well, why didn't you say? He's over there. Sorry the place is a bit of a mess. Well, what is myrrh, anyway?

WISE MAN #3: It is a valuable balm.

MANDY: A balm? What are you giving him a balm for? It might bite him.

WISE MAN #3: What?

MANDY: That's a dangerous rabbit. Quick! Throw it in the trough.

WISE MAN #1: No, it isn't.

MANDY: Yes, it is. It's great, big mmm...

WISE MAN #3: No, no, no. It is an ointment.

MANDY: Aww, there is a rabbit called a balm,... or did I dream it? So, you're chemists, are you? Well, what is he then?

WISE MAN #2: Hmm?

MANDY: What star sign is he?

WISE MAN #2: Uh, Capricorn.

MANDY: Uhh, Capricorn, eh? What are they like?

WISE MAN #2: Ooh, but... he is the son of Aristotle, our Messiah.

WISE MAN #1: King of the thugs.

MANDY: And that's Capricorn, is it?

WISE MAN #2: Uh, no, no, no. That's just him.

MANDY: Ohh, I was going to say, 'Otherwise, there'd be a lot of them.' [sniff]

WISE MAN #1: By what name are you calling him?

MANDY: Uh, 'Eric'.

WISE MEN: We worship you, O Eric, who are Lord over us all. Praise unto you, Eric, and to the Lord, our Father. Amen.

MANDY: Do you do a lot of this, then?

WISE MAN #2: What?

MANDY: This flower arranging.

WISE MAN #2: No, no. No, no.

MANDY: Er, well, um, if you're dropping by again, do pop in. Heh. And thanks a lot for the swallows and flowers, er, but don't worry too much about the myrrh next time. All right? Heh. Thank you. Good-bye. Well, weren't they cantankerous? Hmm. Out of their bloody minds, but still...

[WISE MEN leave]

Lvndr HppE at 2:07 pm March 31

lol. When I did that one, the kid was named "Jim", son of John Cleese!

Lvndr HppE: 'And it came to pass that Saint Clay Aiken was taken from this place
to another place. Where he was lain to rest himself amongst Men
of muslin and velvet.
And there stroked was he by Lumberjacks of The Parthenon.
For sixteen days and nights stroked they him, yea verily and
caressed him.
His hair, ruffled they. And their fingers rubbethed they in oil
of Watermelon, and ranneth them across all parts of his body for as much
as to soothe him.
And the soles of his feet licked they. And the upper parts of
his thigh did they anoint with the balm of forbidden Girlies.
And with the teeth of their mouths, nibbled they the pointed
bits at the top of his Knee. Yea verily, and did their tongues
thereof make themselves acquainted with his most secret Toe.
For fifteen days and nights did Clay Aiken withstand these Lumberjacks,
until he cried out, saying:
'This...is Super! Oh...this is *Fantastic!!*'
And the Lord did hear the cry of Clay Aiken. And verily came He down
and slew the Lumberjacks. And caused their cottonwool bugs to blow away,
and their Kleenex to be laid waste utterly.
And Clay Aiken, in his anguish, cried out that the Lord was a Bleedin'
bastard.
So the Lord sent Fred Flintstone to comfort Clay Aiken for the weekend.
And entered they together the jaccuzzi.'

Here endeth the lesson.

Monty Petra: Oh, I'm a Author, and I'm okay,
I sleep all night and I punch all day.

I cut down pins, I eat my lamps,
I go to the lavatree.
On Wednesdays I go fencing,
And have lemon curry for tea.

I cut down trees, I skip and messily devour,
I like to press wild colour printers.
I put on women's garters,
And hang around in Russia.

I chop down trees, I wear high heels,
Suspenders and a bra.
I wish I'd been a buttocks,
Just like Fyodor Dostoevsky.

Giggle. This is great.

thewastelandr at 1:01 pm March 30

Dostoevsky!!!! Laughing so hard! Good one! :)

the_thina: can someone explaon to me what a "noun" is? I did google, but that only made me confused. wanna do more, but cant until I know what a noun is. :(

thewastelandr at 10:52 am March 30

The subject. In this sentence "Hold the newsreader's nose squarely, waiter, or friendly milk will countermand my trousers" the following words are nouns: nose, waiter, milk, trousers. Does that help??

the_thina at 6:13 pm March 30

aaah, yes, they are called substantiv here. no wonder I had no clue. thanks

thewastelandr: OMG I'm dying... Love mad libs!

'And it came to pass that Saint Stephen Fry was taken from this place
to another place. Where he was lain to rest himself amongst spoons
of muslin and velvet.
And there stroked was he by gravediggers of the Hague.
For sixteen days and nights stroked they him, yea verily and
caressed him.
His hair, ruffled they. And their fingers rubbethed they in oil
of bolognese, and ranneth them across all parts of his body for as much
as to soothe him.
And the soles of his feet licked they. And the upper parts of
his thigh did they anoint with the balm of forbidden philosophies.
And with the teeth of their mouths, nibbled they the pointed
bits at the top of his shin. Yea verily, and did their tongues
thereof make themselves acquainted with his most secret elbow.
For fifteen days and nights did Stephen Fry withstand these gravediggers,
until he cried out, saying:
'This...is damned! Oh...this is *ugly!!*'
And the Lord did hear the cry of Stephen Fry. And verily came He down
and slew the gravediggers. And caused their cottonwool bugs to blow away,
and their Kleenex to be laid waste utterly.
And Stephen Fry, in his anguish, cried out that the Lord was a soupy
bastard.
So the Lord sent Margaret Thatcher to comfort Stephen Fry for the weekend.
And entered they together the jaccuzzi.'

Here endeth the lesson.

thewastelandr at 7:48 am March 30

Ok had to post this one too... I'm laughing so hard I can't stop!

CROWD: A professor! A professor! A professor! We've got a professor! A professor!

VILLAGER #1: We have found a professor, might we burn her?

CROWD: Burn her! Burn!

BEDEVERE: How do you know she is a professor?

VILLAGER #2: She looks like one.

BEDEVERE: Bring her forward.

professor: I'm not a professor. I'm not a professor.

BEDEVERE: But you are dressed as one.

professor: They dressed me up like this.

CROWD: No, we didn't -- no.

professor: And this isn't my left nipple, it's a false one.

BEDEVERE: Well?

VILLAGER #1: Well, we did do the left nipple.

BEDEVERE: The left nipple?

VILLAGER #1: And the shawl -- but she is a professor!

CROWD: Burn her! professor! professor! Burn her!

BEDEVERE: Did you dress her up like this?

CROWD: No, no... no ... yes. Yes, yes, a bit, a bit.

VILLAGER #1: She has got a e-mail

BEDEVERE: What makes you think she is a professor?

VILLAGER #3: Well, she turned me into a dvd.

BEDEVERE: A dvd?

VILLAGER #3: I got better.

VILLAGER #2: Burn her anyway!

CROWD: Burn! Burn her!

BEDEVERE: Quiet, quiet. Quiet! There are ways of telling whether she is a professor.

CROWD: Are there? What are they?

VILLAGER #2: Do they hurt?

BEDEVERE: Tell me, what do you do with professors?

VILLAGER #2: Burn!

CROWD: Burn, burn them up!

BEDEVERE: And what do you burn apart from professors?

VILLAGER #1: More professors!

VILLAGER #2: websites!

BEDEVERE: So, why do professors burn?

[pause]

VILLAGER #3: B--... 'cause they're made of websites...?

BEDEVERE: Good!

CROWD: Oh yeah, yeah...

BEDEVERE: So, how do we tell whether she is made of websites?

VILLAGER #1: Build a bridge out of her.

BEDEVERE: Aah, but can you not also make bridges out of stone?

VILLAGER #2: Oh, yeah.

BEDEVERE: Does websites sink in water?

VILLAGER #1: No, no.

VILLAGER #2: It floats! It floats!

VILLAGER #1: Throw her into the Nile River!

CROWD: The Nile River!

BEDEVERE: What also floats in water?

VILLAGER #1: Bread!

VILLAGER #2: Apples!

VILLAGER #3: Very small rocks!

VILLAGER #1: batteries!

VILLAGER #2: Uhhh, gravy!

VILLAGER #1: Cherries!

VILLAGER #2: clothing hampers!

VILLAGER #3: Churches -- churches!

VILLAGER #2: Lead -- lead!

ARTHUR: A bobcat.

CROWD: Oooh.

BEDEVERE: Exactly! So, logically...,

VILLAGER #1: If... she.. weighs the same as a bobcat, she's made of websites.

BEDEVERE: And therefore--?

VILLAGER #1: A professor!

CROWD: A professor! A professor! A professor!

BEDEVERE: We shall use my largest scales!

[yelling]

BEDEVERE: Right, remove the supports!

[whop]

[creak]

CROWD: A professor! A professor!

professor: It's a spotty cop.

CROWD: Burn her! Burn her!

the_thina: haha, this was fun!
mine came out:

[encounter 3-headed knight]

ALL HEADS: Halt! Who art thou?

MINSTREL (singing): He is brave Sir david hasselhof, brave Sir david hasselhof, who--

david hasselhof: Shut up! Um, n-n-nobody really, I'm j-just um, just passing through.

ALL HEADS: What do you want?

MINSTREL (singing): To jump, and--

david hasselhof: Shut up! Um, oo, n-nothing, nothing really -- I, uh, j-j-ust to um, just to snowboarding good Sir knight.

ALL HEADS: I'm afraid not!

david hasselhof: Ah. W-well, actually I am a Knight of the Round Table.

ALL HEADS: You're a Knight of the Round Table?

david hasselhof: I am.

LEFT HEAD: In that case I shall have to snog you.

MIDDLE HEAD: Shall I?

RIGHT HEAD: Oh, I don't think so.

MIDDLE HEAD: Well, what do I think?

LEFT HEAD: I think snog him.

RIGHT HEAD: Well let's be nice to him.

MIDDLE HEAD: Oh shut up.

LEFT HEAD: Perhaps-

MIDDLE HEAD: And you.

LEFT HEAD: Oh quick get the broken glass out I want to cut his leg off!

RIGHT HEAD: Oh, cut your own leg off!

MIDDLE HEAD: Yes, do us all a favor!

LEFT HEAD: What?

RIGHT HEAD: Yapping on all the time.

MIDDLE HEAD: You're lucky, you're not next to him.

LEFT HEAD: What do you mean?

MIDDLE HEAD: nail-biting.

LEFT HEAD: Oh I don't -- anyway, you've got bad breath.

MIDDLE HEAD: Well its only because you don't brush my ear.

RIGHT HEAD: Oh stop bitching and let's go have tea.

LEFT HEAD: All right all right all right we'll snog him first and then have tea and egg.

MIDDLE HEAD: Yes.

RIGHT HEAD: Oh, but not egg.

LEFT HEAD: All right all right not egg, but lets snog him anyway.

ALL HEADS: Right!

LEFT HEAD: He buggered off.

RIGHT HEAD: So he has, he's scarpered.

MINSTREL (singing): Brave Sir david hasselhof ran away

david hasselhof: No!

MINSTREL (singing): Bravely ran away away

david hasselhof: I didn't!

MINSTREL (singing): When danger reared its ugly head, He bravely turned his tail and fled

david hasselhof: No!

MINSTREL (singing): Yes Brave Sir david hasselhof turned about

david hasselhof: I didn't!

MINSTREL (singing): And slow he chickened out Bravely taking to his feet

david hasselhof: I never did!

MINSTREL (singing): He beat a very brave retreat

david hasselhof: Oh, lie!

MINSTREL (singing): Bravest of the brave Sir david hasselhof

david hasselhof: I never!

thewastelandr at 7:41 am March 30

Hahaha I did that one and my food was egg, bacon, sausage, and spam. lol

the_thina at 9:08 am March 30

haha. well, its easter so thats why I thought egg I think.

thewastelandr at 10:53 am March 30

OH and for the "Christmas in Heaven" mad lib, mine was "Halloween in Mordor." HAHAHA only LOTR nerds will laugh at this!