Top 20 funniest Python Sketches

This is an old article but considering that the 40th anniversary of
Python is this year it seems a good time to post it. It's a count down
of funniest sketches.

I found the article on this website:

http://www.ew.com/ew/article/0,,1039070_5,00.html

Below is the article:

EW.com counts down Monty Python's 20 Funniest Sketches:

20 Argument Clinic (Monty Python's Flying Circus DVD 9, Episode 29)
A troupe hallmark and a paraphrasing of what Python fans are thinking
now. ''That's not one of the top 20.'' ''Yes, it is.'' ''No, it isn't.''
''Is.'' ''Isn't!''

19 Kilimanjaro Expedition (MPFC DVD 3, Ep. 9)
Who did an explorer who sees double hire to find a crew he sent to build
a bridge between Kilimanjaro's two peaks? ''The Arthur Brown twins, two
botanists called Machin...and a couple of the Ken Spinoza quads. The
other two pulled out.''

18 The Restaurant Sketch (MPFC DVD 1, Ep. 3)
A polite complaint about a dirty fork riles a cleaver-swinging cook and
suicidal manager. Highlight: John Cleese's gasping moan, ''Oh, it makes
me mad.''

17 Mrs. Premise and Mrs. Conclusion Visit Sartre (MPFC DVD 9, Ep. 27)
Who better to debate Jean-Paul Sartre's philosophy and burial methods
for live cats than two shrieking housewives? The best of the sketches
with the Pythons' drag alter egos, the Pepperpots.

16 The Visitors (MPFC DVD 3, Ep. 9)
The rudest drop-ins ever, including Arthur Name (''What's brown and
sounds like a bell? Dung''), Mr. Equator (''[The seat's a] bit
lumpy...ah, no wonder, I was sitting on the cat''), and his incontinent,
beans-gobbling wife.

15 Every Sperm Is Sacred (Monty Python's The Meaning of Life)
Terry Jones' directorial high, this rousing musical number about the
perils of masturbation from the 1983 film is Python irreverence at its
most elaborate.

14 Interesting People (Monty Python's Flying Circus DVD 4, Episode 11)
A goofy TV panel features a hypnotist who puts bricks to sleep and a man
whose cat flies across the room into a pail of water. (''By herself?''
''No, I fling her.'')

13 Spam (MPFC DVD 8, Ep. 25)
Thanks to this operatic, Viking-sung ditty, the jellied canned luncheon
meat will always be synonymous with classic comedy.

12 Self-Defence (MPFC DVD 2, Ep. 4)
What's a fruit-obsessed instructor's advice for dealing with an
assailant attacking with a banana? (1) Shoot him. (2) Eat the banana,

thus disarming him.

11 Crunchy Frog (MPFC DVD 2, Ep. 6)
Crunchy Frog, Cockroach Cluster, Ram's Bladder Cup with lark's vomit:
This candy selection yields oddly tasty humor.

10 Stoning (Monty Python's Life of Brian)
You may be humming ''(Always Look on the) Bright Side of Life'' after
the 1979 film, but the beard-wearing, rock-hurling women make the movie
sing.

9 Eric the Half a Bee (Monty Python's Previous Record)
A rousing ode to a bifurcated bug from 1972: ''I love this hive
employee/Bisected accidentally/One summer afternoon by me/I love him
carnally.''

8 Nudge Nudge (Monty Python's Flying Circus, DVD 1, Episode 3)
''Nudge nudge, know what I mean? Say no more!'' Eric Idle's winking
insinuator is the ultimate perv, even if the sketch ends, ''You've slept
with a lady.... What's it like?''

7 The Lumberjack Song (MPFC DVD 3, Ep. 9)
A barber longs to be a macho woodsman, because ''I cut down trees, I
skip and jump/I like to press wildflowers/I put on women's clothing/And
hang around in bars.'' During some live shows, fans Tom Hanks and George
Harrison both slipped into lumber gear to sing backup.

6 Fish-Slapping Dance (MPFC DVD 9, Ep. 28)
John Cleese and Michael Palin prance about, slapping each other with
fish, naturally. Fifteen seconds of sublime silliness.

5 The Funniest Joke in the World (Monty Python's Flying Circus DVD 1,
Episode 1)
A British joke so funny its audiences die laughing becomes a critical
weapon against the Nazis during WWII. Not so the Germans' failed
retaliation: ''Der ver zwei peanuts, valking down der strasse, and von
vas...assaulted! Peanut.''

4 Dead Parrot (MPFC DVD 3, Ep. 8)
''If you hadn't nailed it to the perch, it would be pushing up the
daisies.... This is an ex-parrot.'' The legacy of John Cleese's
complaint to Michael Palin for selling a stuffed pet is marred only a
bit by a listless reprise on a 1997 Saturday Night Live.

3 Guy de Loimbard's Castle (Monty Python and the Holy Grail)
''Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries''
from the 1975 film remains the gold standard of verbal abuse.

2 The Ministry of Silly Walks (MPFC DVD 5, Ep. 14)
Cleese's giant steps are equally hilarious on the TV show and in the '82
concert film Live at the Hollywood Bowl.

Monty Python's best sketches: No. 1

1 The Spanish Inquisition (Monty Python's Flying Circus DVD 5, Episode 15)
Red-caped crusading cardinals threaten torture with (gasp!) the comfy
chair! Unforgettable for one reason: torture by kitchen drying rack, and
Michael Palin's inability to count...two! Two reasons!

It wasn't easy to choose but here is my top 20 list: (In some cases
I'm counting more than one sketch as one because they are part of the
same storyline or because one flows into the other).

20: Vocational Guidence Counselor

19: Flying lessons

18: Hijacked plane (to Luton)

Door opens and a man in a neat suit enters. From beneath
his jacket he produces a revolver with silencer attachment.
He points it at the pilots.

Gunman "All right, don't anybody move ... except to control the
aeroplane ... you can move a little to do that."

Hostess "Can I move?"

Gunman "Yes, yes, yes. You can move a little bit. Yes. Sorry, I
didn't mean to be so dogmatic when I came in. Obviously you
can all move a little within reason. There are certain
involuntary muscular movements which no amount of
self-control can prevent. And obviously any assertion
of authority on my part, I've got to take that into account."
The ensuing conversation is perfectly calm and friendly.

Second Pilot "Right. I mean one couldn't for example, stop one's
insides from moving."

Gunman "No, no. Good point, good point."

Second Pilot "And the very fact that the plane is continuously
vibrating means that we're all moving to a certain extent."

Gunman "And we're all moving our lips, aren't we?"

Pilots "Yes, yes."

Second Pilot "Absolutely."

Gunman "No, the gist of my meaning was that sudden... er..."

Hostess "Exaggerated movements ..."

Gunman "Exaggerated violent movements... are... are out."

Second Pilot "Well, that's the great thing about these modern
airliners. I mean, I can keep this plane flying with
only the smallest movement and Pancho here doesn't have
to move at all."

Gunman "Oh, that's marvellous."

Hostess (joining in the general spirit of bonhomie) "And I don't
really need to move either ... unless I get an itch or
something..."

They all laugh.

Gunman "Well that's wonderful ... 60% success, eh?" (they
laugh again) "Anyway, bearing all that in mind, will
you fly this plane to Luton, please?"

Second Pilot "Well, this is a scheduled flight to Cuba."

Gunman "I know, I know, that's rather why I came in here with
that point about nobody moving."

First Pilot "Within reason."

Gunman "Within reason - yes. I... er ... er... you know, I want
you to fly this plane to Luton ... please."

Second Pilot "Right, well I'd better turn the plane round then. Stand
by emergency systems".

Gunman "Look I don't want to cause any trouble.,"

Second Pilot "No, no, we'll manage, we'll manage."

Gunman "I mean, near Luton will do, you know. Harpenden, do you
go near Harpenden?"

First Pilot "It's on the flight path."

Gunman "Okay, well, drop me off there. I'll get a bus to Luton.
It's only twenty-five minutes."

Hostess "You can be in Luton by lunchtime."

Gunman "Oh, well that's smashing."

First Pilot "Hang on! There's no airport at Harpenden."

Gunman "Oh well, look, forget it. Forget it. I'll come to Cuba,
and get a flight back to Luton from there."

Second Pilot "Well, we could lend you a parachute."

Gunman "No, no, no, no, no. I wouldn't dream of it... wouldn't
dream of it... dirtying a nice, clean parachute."

First Pilot "I know - I know. There's a bale of hay outside
Basingstoke. We could throw you out."

Gunman "Well, if it's all right."

All "Sure, yeah."

Gunman "Not any trouble?"

Pilots "None at all."

Gunman "That's marvellous. Thank you very much. Sorry to come
barging in."

Hostess "Bye-bye."

Gunman "Thank you. Bye."

Pilots "Bye."

They open the door and throw him out.

Gunman (as he falls) "Thank you!"

Cut to haystack in a field (not the same bale of hay that
was landed on before). Aeroplane noise overhead. The
gunman suddenly falls into the haystack. He gets up,
brushes himself down, hops over a fence, and reaches a
road. He puts his hand out and a bus stops. It has
'Straight to Luton' written on it. He gets in. Conductor
is just about to take his fare, when an evil-looking man
with a gun jumps up and points gun at conductor.

Hijacker "Take this bus to Cuba."

Bus moving away from camera. The destination board
changes to 'Straight to Cuba'. The bus does a speedy
u-turn, and goes out of frame. Camera pans away
revealing a rather rocky highland landscape. As camera
pans across country we hear inspiring Scottish music.

source: http://www.ibras.dk/montypython/justthewords.htm

17: Self-defence

16: The Ministry of Silly Walks

15: Buying a bed

14: Italian lesson

13: Rival documentaries

12: Gumby brain specialist

11: Fish Licence

10: Dead Parrot Sketch

09:'Blackmail'

08: Cheese shop

07: Children's stories

06: Homicidal barber and Lumberjack song

05: Confuse-a-Cat

04: Fish-slapping dance

03: Live at the Hollywood Bowl Version of travel agent sketch

02: The Spanish Inquisition

01: The Dennis Moore Sketches

What are your top 20 funniest Python sketches?

Videos, scripts and photos are optional, but welcome if you want to

include them :)