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Mrs Attila the Hun 93: Hullo. U mite knot no mie, bute aye am a freind ov yar's.! A long lolsT fred infaxt.
Im Tanyas fRend, carld Horis. LOLOLOL WTF!1! Ie livz in Amearika'z & i do'nt doe dwugz bcuz dey R bade 4 u.

I hav cum 2 tak yor monies & bank Ac Count Dtales fwome offof yau bcoz aye ame wich & famouse & aye cann do dat. OMGROFLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!....!11 Saw, let uz bogee taw sum Ellviz Pwezlee Cee dees and dans all daye &d nite.

WHAT THE HELL!? WHAT DID HE JUST SAY!? SOMEONE HIT THIS GUY WITH A DICTIONARY OR I WILL HAVE TO SEND FOR THE GRAMMAR NAZI >x(

Tanya_Birklid19 at 9:28 am April 28

This is true. Don't make him- oh no. He's coming!!! Must. . . fiiiight hiiiiimmmmmeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGHHH!!!! WAS IST DAS? HM? WAS IST DAS? DAS IST NICHT PASSENDE GRAMMATIK!! DUMMKOPF, DU SCHWEINEHUNDE!! Jemand muss Sie über dem Kopf mit einem Wörterbuch schlagen UND ICH WERDE ES MACHEN!! Was ist falsch mit Ihnen??!! Lernen Sie zu sprechen und richtig zu tippen, dumm Amerikaner. *goes away* WHOA! wow. Okay, so basically he said that he's going to hit this guy with a dictionary and told him to learn to speak and write correctly.

Mrs Attila the Hun 93 at 10:46 am April 28

Ach, imo wtflolcopter. Boot Taniya, ayev'e allwais luve;d Uu frum the botoom off mai hertz

*sees something hurtling towards him in the distance*

Ooo lok! WTFLOLOLZARDS wat IZ tat.?

*gets struck right on the head by an Oxford Dictionary, extra bulky edition*

ANANANANANANANAND NOw, I love you lots and lots and I'll have you know that-- what the devil? o_O What the blazes?! O.O Why am I now speaking like this? XD What a transformation! ^-^ Oh many thanks, great and honourable ...

Nazi!? >.<" Ugh, that's put my right off my jam and clotted cream scone >:( And I've just realised that I'm now adding unnecessary smilies at the end of sentences :S

a_nervous_wreck at 10:53 am April 28

THE GRAMMAR NAZI HAZ RETURNED!!!!!!!!! EVERYBODY RUN!!!!!!

Here Comes Another One: CAAAAAARL! There's a dead human in our house!

Tanya_Birklid19: Speaking of llamas . . .

Sh, sh, sh. You hear that? That's the sound of forgiveness.
That's the sound of people drowning, Carl.

a_nervous_wreck at 12:25 am April 28

Would you believe its strawberry milkshake? Melted gumdrops? Boat nectar? Some of God's tears?

Tanya_Birklid19: Once upon a time there was a beaver named . . . Beaver. He lived in a dam in a river. And he had two best friends, Jeff the zombie and Pookie the little purple fuzzball. One day Pookie and Jeff came over to visit Beaver. But along the way they met with . . . HANK AND HIS PACK OF DERANGED LLAMAS!! dundun duunnnn
"Let us pass," Jeff said and made a terrifying zombie noise. Then an old geezer llama came in front of the pack and shouted, "YOU! SHALL NOT! PASS!" There was thunder and crash of lightning *keerrrrrrrbch* Suddenly out of nowhere, Beaver appeared out of thin air because he was practising to be a magician, along with him was Qui-Gon Jin and Obi Wan Kenobi. Hank shouted something in German which made the other deranged llamas attack the small group. Shakespeare, Chaucer, Walt Whitman, Mark Twain, Henry David Thoreau, Colin Firth, Kenneth Branagh, Kevin Kline, the Pope, Tom Hanks, John Wayne's boots, a bowl of jell-o, Huns, and kamikaze Scotsmen fought along side Beaver, Qui-Gon, Obi Wan, Jeff, and Pookie and together they defeated the llamas when Bill Nighy released the Kraken and Abe Lincoln's body was thrown at the llamas. Also Kenneth struck a Shakespearean pose with a pair of underpants on his head. Hank glared his one eye at the heroes and muttered something like, "We'll be back.", but it was in German.
Later that evening the heroes got together for a little spongecake and drinks, but it was soon ended when Inspector Kemp's wooden hand fell off. So they had to go to the lumber yard. THE END

Tanya_Birklid19: Seems a down right shame.
Shame?
Seems an awful waste. Such a nice plump frame what's his name has . . . had . . . has! Nor it can't be traced. Business needs a lift, debts to be erased. Think of it as thrift, as a gift, if you get my drift. Seems an awful waste. I mean with the price of meat, when you get it, if you got it. . .
Ah!
Good, you got it. Take for instance Mrs. Mooney and her pie shop, business never better using only pussycats and toast.
*door is broken down and a a very important person comes in*
VIP: I thought I told you not to sing songs like that again. Now, sing something family friendly like Rogers and Hammerstein or something from 'My Fair Lady'. Don't go round singing songs from Sondheim. It's bad for your teeth. *exits*
*pause, checking to see if he' gone for good, then sings* It's priest, have a little priest.
Is it really good?
Sir, it's too good, at least. Then again, they don't commit sins of the flesh. So it's really fresh.
Awful of fat.
Only where it sat.
Haven't you got poet or something like that?
No, you see the trouble with poet how do you know it's deceased? Try the priest.
VIP: *entering* I thought I told you stop that!
*grumpy look, rolls eyes* High on a hill was a lonely goatherd, lay ee odl lay ee odl lay hee hoo, loud was the voice of the lonely goatherd, lay ee odl lay ee odl-oo.
VIP: Much better, carry on. *exits*
*looks around* Pore Jud is daid a candle lights his haid, he's lookin' oh so purty and so nice. He looks like he's a sleep, it's a shame that he won't keep, but it's summer and we're runnin' out of ice.
VIP: *voice heard offstage* No more depressing songs!
*grabs a shotgun and exits*

Tanya_Birklid19: I made mashed potatoes!

I'm gonna sing the doom song now: Doom doom doomdoom doomdoom doom doom doom doom doomdoom

I had 'im! His throat was bare beneath my hand. No! I had 'im and he'll never come again.
Easy now, hush luv hush, I keep telling you-
When? Why did I wait, you told me to wait, now he'll never come again. There's a hole in the great black pit, and it's filled people who are filled with shit, and the vermin of the world inhabit it. But not for long. They all deserve to die, tell you why, Mrs. Lovett, tell you why, because in all of the whole human race, Mrs. Lovett, there are two kinds of men and only two. There's the one they put in his proper place, and the one with his foot in the other one's face. Look at me, Mrs. Lovett, look at you. Now we all deserve to die, even you, Mrs. Lovett, even I. Because the lives of the wicked should be made brief, for the rest of us death will be a relief, we all deserve to die.

Well, that was upsetting.

Tanya_Birklid19: Dum dum dumdumdumdum dum dum dum dum In a gadda da vida hon-ay, don'tchoo know that I love you.

She comes on like a rose, but everybody knows, dade de de de dah, you can look but you better not touch, Poison Ivy

Breaking rocks in the hot sun, I fought the law and the law won, I fought the law and the law won. I needed money, cause I have none

Why should a women who is healthy and strong, blubber like baby if her man goes away. A-weepin' and a-wailin' how he's done her wrong,

I'm Batman.

Mrs Attila the Hun 93: I am the bringer of Hellfire and I bring you ... Fire *dududuuuududu* FIRE.
*Frank's reaction to his purchase of virtual Tanya:*
WOW, I LOOOVE TOM JONES!

a_nervous_wreck at 10:53 am April 25

HAHA! I was actually watching this episode last night. I love Jeremy's technique for measuring the depth of the snow :)

Tanya_Birklid19: It's not unusual to be loved by anyone. It's not unusual to be blah bleeblah by anyone. Meowmeow meow meow meowmeow meow. It's not unusual.

Tanya_Birklid19: To be or not to be, that is the question whether tis-
Um, excuse me for a second.
Just let me finish here. *continues* Whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer the -
Hey, buddy, erm, could you, uh, stop for just a second?
*sigh* Fine, what is it?
What . . . what do you think you're doing?
I'm reciting a Shakespearean monologue and -
Yeah, yeah, I can see that, but what are you really saying?
I'm . . . I . . .
Try it this way. *clears throat* "What the f*** is with whole question on dying? To die or not to die, man, what the F*** is up with dat? Is it right to just sit on your goddamn ass and let him take you down, or stand the hell up and pop a cap in his ass?" Think about it.
So I should do this in the style of a black gangsta? *does some gang signs*
*shrug* Sure. But don't do those gestures. Let's not get too corny.
All right.

Tanya_Birklid19: I'm The Juggernaut, bitch!

Tanya_Birklid19: XD roflcopter lmaoratt Love it, thank you. Yes, it's true, I do like to put people into hysterics. *pause* Mwah haha.

Hello, I'm (insert name of a very important person). I'd like to talk to you about a crisis that is facing the lives of the people I'm about to mention. Meet Hank, Hank is the leader of a deranged pack of llamas that kidnap people, eventually returning said person back to where they were. But sometimes that doesn't always happen. See Hank is a talking llama and has a Gestapo officer hat and an eyepatch. Plus a German accent. We must find a cure for these packs of deranged llamas. They are spread out all over the world, but Hank is their leader. It has become a worldwide epidemic and may wipe out human existence. These llamas are known to open a crack in the fabric of time and space and plunge their human victims into it, sending them who knows where. We must fight back! We must take up arms against these llamas and end this once and for all! Viva la gentes! Power to the people!! I'm (name of important person), thank you.

Mrs Attila the Hun 93: Madness? This is SPA-- Oh, that's soooo totally overused. Moving on ...

Hi, Billy Mays here, back from heaven to give you yet another promotion! Has this ever happened to you? You're pythonlining and someone with no life decides to post an empty post and you're left feeling bored and agitated. Well, have I got the solution for you. Forget the admins, just have a virtual Tanya! *chuckles* Yes, this lovely limited edition buddy can easily transform a boring, drap, old thread into one that'll have you laughing and singing to the break of day. With over 1,000,000,000,002 quotes, our Tanya is sure to please. Just enter a thread and let Tanya do the hard work. She'll bombard the stupid piece of crap with musical, movie, TV and Mel Brooks quotes that'll leave you rolling about in hysterics (either laughter hysterics or just plain hysterics, because Tanyas are prone to do that from time to time. (She's crrrrrazy) Not guranteed, but it might happen). So, don't delay! Don't sit there moping about the empty post, do something about it! Get a Tanya.
Call right now, and you'll also recieve a free Fred with complementary Jeff doll and a free mighty putty, one of my many over-endorsed products! What more could you want!?

Tanya_Birklid19: Tell me, 'friend', since when did Saruman the Wise abandon reason for madness?

Tanya_Birklid19: XD Good one, The.
Who know just a simple post with an interjection would result in madness.

*floats down river while playing 'Orange Blossom Special on fiddle, soon followed by 'Dueling Banjos' on . . . a banjo. Plus she has her hubby Wolverine/Hugh Jackman and her second hubby David Tennant. PLUS the man she really wants to marry, Michael.*

Mrs Attila the Hun 93: Tiger ... hm, goes well with gnocchi, with a creamy pesto sauce, parmesan shavings with a pinch of toenail crust and basil-- BASIL!?
Yes, my little piranha fish? I'll come in the small hours and put a bat up your nightdress ... Good God, he must be the bravest orangutan in Britain.

I shop at Tescos? No, I prefer M&S, they do good takeaway roast Tanya in limited edition Birklid sauce and roast root vegetables, specially imported from the US. Whilst stocks last. Recieve complementary lightsaber with every purchase :D

Tanya_Birklid19: I've. Got. a. Tiger by the tail it's plain to see. I won't be much when you get through with me. Well, I'm a losing weight and turnin' pale, looks like I got a tiger by the tail.
Well, they ran through the briars and they ran through the brambles, they ran through the bushes where a rabbit wouldn't go. They ran so fast that the hounds couldn't catch them. All down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico.
Waterloo, waterloo, where will you meet your waterloo? Every puppy has its day, everbody has to pay, everybody has to meet their Waterloo.
Love, is a burning thing. And it makes a fiery ring.
We got married in a fever, hotter than a pepper sprout. We've been talking 'bout Jackson, ever since the fire went out. I'm goin' to Jackson, gonna mess around. Yeah, I'm goin' Jackson, look out Jackson town.
Chug-a-lug, chug-a-lug, make you holler 'Hi-de ho'
Hey, good lookin' whatcha got cookin'? How's about cookin' something up with me?

Tanya_Birklid19: The radar, sir! It appears to be . . . jammed!
Raspberry. There's only one man who DARES give me raspberry. *pulls cover down* Lone Star. *crash*
Oh great, just what we need. A Druish princess.
Funny, she doesn't look Druish.
Did I miss something? Since when we did get to Disneyland?
How many assholes are working here? *lots of hands* Oh. *pause* Keep firing, Assholes!

Mrs Attila the Hun 93: You kissed my wife?
Well, she kissed me first.
And you kissed her back?
No ... I kissed her mouth.
Badabum babumbum, Diamonds are foreverrrrrr.
Yeah, ahuh, we're back. Hey, hey, I can't forget chu baby, I tink about chu everyday ... And WHY AM I RAPPING?! QUICK MUST SING SOMETHING ELSE! AND I WILL do anything for love ... DoDO, I vant to ride my BICYCLE, BICYCLE, BIIICYCLE! SHE'S GOTTA TICKET TO RIHIHIDE, ONE NIGHT IN BANGKOK AND THE WORLD'S YOUR OYSTER, THIS AIN'T A SCEEENE, IT'S A GOD DAMN ARM'S RAAAAACHDFSK.JFADJMANFGDJWKSMDHJSUI--
*BOOOOOM*
*Mrs. A combusts and pieces of her disperse into the atmosphere and only her small intestine and a pair of checkboard Vans shoes remain, lying desolate on the ground ... until a random Irish jockey comes along and starts trying the shoes on, which evidently are too big for him because he only has size 3 feet, so he orders a Guinness with a side order of Mrs. A intestine, a suitable alternative to his usual order of Walkers Prawn Cocktail crisps and pork scratchings*

Tanya_Birklid19: I apologize for posting too much things this morning. . . ? Anyway it won't happen again.

Lvndr HppE at 9:51 am April 23

Hey, I was enjoying the Mel Brooks references!

J.Gambolputty: No täähän alkaa mennä jo oudoksi... (ten points and a Mars bar for the person who understood that. Well, not for the other Finns here of course...)
A little problem for you. *diabolical laughter*
Yes, I am bored. *ding ding ding*

Tanya_Birklid19: The farmer and cowman should be friends, oh the farmer and the cowman should be fr-
All right, that's enough of you singing show tunes and quoting Mel Brooks. It's 2:30 in the bloody morning and you're singing show tunes? Go to bed.
Just let me finish! *sings* One man like to push a plow, the other likes to chase a cow, but that's no reason why cain't be friends. *stops singing*
That's better. *walks away*
*looks around, coast is clear* It ain't so much a question of not knowing what to do. I knowed what's right an' wrong since I was ten. I hear a lot of stories and I reckon they are true. About how women something something men. I know I mustn't fall into the pit, but when I with a feller . . . I FERGIT! I'm jist a girl who cain't say no, I'm in a terrible fix! I always say, 'Come on, let's go!' Jist when I orta say, 'Nix'. When a person tries to kiss a girl, I know she oughta give his face smack! But as soon as someone kisses me, I somehow sort wanna kiss him back!
SHUT UP! *bang followed by a thud*

Tanya_Birklid19: Pore Jud is daid, pore Jud Fry is daid,
All gather round his cawffin now an' cry.
He had a heart of gold, an' he wasn't very old,
Oh, why sich a feller had to die?
*spoken* Then the preacher git up an' say sumthin like "Folks, we are here today to moan and groan over our brother Jud Fry who hung himself up in the smokehouse." Then there'll lots of weepin' and wailin' from the womenfolk. Then he'd say "Jud was the most misunderstood man in the territory. Why, people used to think he was a mean, ugly feller, and they called him a dirty skunk and an ornary pig stealer! And-" But the folks that really knowed him, knowed that beneath those two dirty shirts he always wore, there beat a heart as big as all outdoors.
As big as all outdoors.
Jud Fry loved his fella man.
He loved his fella man.

Tanya_Birklid19: Slowly, gently night unfurls its splendor
Grasp it, sense it, tremulous and tender
Turn your face away from the garish ligh of day
Turn your thoughts away from cold unfeeling light
And listen to the music of the night.

When I take you out tonight with me,
Honey here's the way it's gonna be,
You will set behind a team of snow white horses
In the slickest gig you'll ever see.
Chick n ducks n geese better scurry
When I take you out in the surrey,
When I take you out in the surrey with the fringe on top.

Tanya_Birklid19: My name's Jim, but most people call me . . . Jim.
What in the wide, wide world of sports is going on here?
Work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, hello boys, have a good night's rest? I missed you.
But where would I find such a man? Why am I asking you?
See that hand?
Steady as a rock.
Yeah, but I shoot with this hand. *raises shaky hand*
It's all right, Taggart, just a man and a horse getting hung out there.
I'm tired, sick and tired of love. I've had my filling of love, from below and above.
Hus du gezen in deine leben? They darker than us! Woof!
Oh, I am sorry, Governor, for stepping out of line, you say that.
What?
Meeting is adjounred.
It is?
No, you say that, Governor.
What?
Meeting is adjourned.
It is?
Here, play with this. *hands him a paddle ball*

Tanya_Birklid19: I want to be a producer, sport a top hat and a cane.
You remember when Ulla dance?
Uh huh
Ulla dance again!
Keep it happy, keep it snappy, keep it gay.
Springtime for Hitler and Germany, winter for Poland and France, Springtime for Hitler and Germany, c'mon Germans go into your dance.
I vas born in Dusseldorf und zat is vy zey call me Rolf.
Don't be stupid, be a smartie, come and join the Nazi party.
You are the audience und I am ze ausor, I OUTRANK YOU!
I lieb ya, baby, I lieb ya. Now will you lieb me alone?
Churchill?! Bleh. Ze Fuhrer, now zere was an artist. He could paint an entire flat in one afternoon. Two coats.
Do I smell the revolting stench of self esteem?
Hold me, touch me.
Ja. Most people don't know zis, but the Fuhrer was a descendent from a long line of English qveens.
*shrug* Adolf Elizabeth Hitler.
I'M WET! I'M HYSTERIC AND WET!

Lvndr HppE at 9:48 am April 23

Aldolf Elizabeth Hitler. lol

Mrs Attila the Hun 93: *walks into chemist* Excuuuuse me, I would like some sleeping pills for the wife.
Why, can she not sleep?
No, she's just woken up.
Everyone has AIDS! AIDS, AIDS, AIDS!
*And now, the sound of Ms. Black being strangled*
7:00 am, waking up in the morning, gotta have-- maaahcHdshKjdckkaAaakKakaCAAaaaa ...
*strangling sounds fade away and are replaced by Motorhead*
THE ONLY CARD I NEED IZ THE ACE OF SPADES, THE ACE OF SPADES!!

Lvndr HppE: You know you haven't stopped talking since I got here? You must have been vacinated with a phonograph needle.

Tanya_Birklid19: One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas, I'll never know.

If you get near a song, play it.

a_nervous_wreck: No lurch I called :)

Mrs Attila the Hun 93: YOU RANG?

Paute: Duh!

J.Gambolputty: Ach nein! Ich mag die Kerze! *smack* Oooohh, mein Kopf. Jetzt habe ich eine schreckliche Kopfschmerzen, du Schwein!

Tanya_Birklid19 at 12:33 pm April 22

Haha. I understood that. lol You like candles, you say? hmm. Ich leibe Lampe.

J.Gambolputty at 7:06 am April 23

Ach, gut!

Tanya_Birklid19: Put ze candle back!

Tanya_Birklid19: He will have an enormous schwanstucker!

Wait! Where are you going? I was gonna make espressos.

Here Comes Another One: CYRIL THE TANGERINE?!?! NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

Mrs Attila the Hun 93: Ach, bloody Sutherners. 'O do they think there talkin' to?
They're talkin' ta me, Paddy! Ta be sure, och I tink teh gold's at the end of ter rainbow. That's tree yesses, you're true to ta next rund!
Oh how not absolutely spiffy. Your language is simply disgusting, oh I cringe at the sheer abomination of your grammar.
Mrs. A: Mrs. A, can you stop this now?
Mrs. A: But why? I was enjoying that--
Mrs. A: (rather heated) Well I DO NOTS CAREZ! JUST STOP IT, OR I WILL GET CYRIL THE TANGERINE ON YOU AGAIN.
Mrs. A: (worriedly) Okay, Mrs. Hun--
Mrs. A: (smacks Mrs. A with a bottle of Cillit Bang; Bang! and the dirt ...) That's Mrs A with a capital AYE TO YOUU!!
A man walked into a club ... Ouch.
Shut up already ... >.<

a_nervous_wreck: Hey! I ain't got nobody, and, nobody cares for me! Yakachacha yakachacha chacha!

a_nervous_wreck: YES! He was my... boyfriend! *dramatic music in the background*

Tanya_Birklid19: *howl in the distance*
Werewolf!
Werewolf?
There.
What?
There wolf, there castle.
Why are you talking like that?
I thought you wanted.
No, I don't want you to.
Suit yourself, I'm easy.

Tanya_Birklid19: Certainly, you take the blonde and I'll take the one in the toiban.

I could go all night with this.